Get the new seat!

The tools you will need are a screwdriver and a wrench.

Does your toilet seat have a crack in it? Let me show you how to replace it, so that it does not pinch your ass. BOY DOES THAT HURT!!
First lift the tabs so you can see the screws.
Now unscrew the seat with the screw driver and wrench.
Clean off the old pppp.
Get the new screws and nuts.
Put the new seat on the bowl.
Put new screws in the new seat.
Tighten the seat down. Make sure you keep the new seat even with the bowl so that the top will stay up.
Close the tabs. You are now done.